We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
