I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
