I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just want nice things and good sex
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
