last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
Randomize
