to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
