What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
31 People Admit To Nasty Things They Do On The Reg
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.