ADVERTISEMENT

• (573): View more from Missouri

  I can tuck mytits in my pants

  Fav 27 765 2869

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.

  Fav 5 984 3917

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (337): View more from Louisiana

  They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.

  Fav 11 5762 995

  share tweet
  

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.

  Fav 12 4938 1460

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (773): View more from Illinois

  I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit

  Fav 12 10057 1523

  share tweet
  

• (386): View more from Florida

  The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance

  Fav 17 5705 1863

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (514): View more from Quebec

  He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.

  Fav 38 12604 1595

  share tweet
  

• (812): View more from Indiana

  I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.

  Fav 3 4703 1459

  share tweet
  

• (440): View more from Ohio

  Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore

  Fav 5 2572 987

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (970): View more from Colorado

  I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.

  Fav 7 733 1742

  share tweet
  

• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.

  Fav 5 1633 793

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (870): View more from Arkansas

  When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.

  Fav 5 681 563

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless

  Fav 9 885 555

  share tweet
  

• (330): View more from Ohio

  He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.

  Fav 5 1251 685

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (863): View more from Florida

  There's no time frame.

  (1-863): View more from Florida

  For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.

  Fav 3 276 226

  share tweet
  

Randomize