There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize