i just had sex bonerless
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
