am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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