I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Randomize