didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
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I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
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Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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