My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
