What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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