I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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