I'm passing your future prison.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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