Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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