Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
