I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize