It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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