It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
