thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
These tits shall not be calmed
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
