The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
