let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
