where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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