Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
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All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
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We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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