i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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