once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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