And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Randomize
