real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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