Swine flu. Run for my life!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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