p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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