sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
