yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
