Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i wish my penis had a tongue
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
