good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I want you more than these girls want KFC
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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