If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
