FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize