No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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