i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
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I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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