Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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