Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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