i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize