Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
