hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Randomize
