I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
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