perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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