i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
