Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
