allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize