Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize