Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
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