i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
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