It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
