drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
