matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
