Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
