why do cheetos always look like penises
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
