you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
