watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize