he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Randomize