Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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