Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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