i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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