When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
